You creep in when the darkness falls, shit, you’re there any time of day. Your job, to point out the gaping space between me and the world. It’s there, it’s palpable. The space. The emptiness. I almost believe you.
Your running commentary is dependable….
“They don’t get me. I have to do it all, alone. Its up to me, all of it. They get to leave”
“Why doesn’t anyone come to help? Why do they keep demanding of me? Is it ever good enough? Will I ever be enough?”
You attempt to coax me into believing you have something to say. That deep within, you, are the real me. I’ve heard this so many times. You whisper my failures and you vehemently defend my perceived flaws.
You talk me into a corner, from which the view is bleak. You adamantly try to convince me that you will win. He’ll leave, they’ll all leave, everyone. And, in the end, no matter what I do, yep, you guessed it, ALONE.
No matter the times I’ve looked you in the eyes, told mySelf you are inevitable, there you are. Doing your job. Convincing me of your existence.
Here’s the thing. We’re done. THIS. This relationship is over.
Sure, you, will always be there. Ready to tell me all those things that have me fear life. You will crave my quitting. You will attempt to remove my voice.
And, I am done. I am done believing anything you say. Sure, my body, my physical presence will always be alone….no one else could ever live in it with me. True. But my Life is not my body. It is Love, and that, my friend, is alive and well within me.
You, you can stay. And one day, we shall watch our life end, together. Me and you.
“The only way to not feel lonely, is to stop doing it alone”. I will no longer invest any belief in you.
I’m falling. Into the arms of the Love, manifest in people, who hold life, all of it, Sacred. For they, shall be with me always. Just like you.
This, is the dichotomy of being human. To know you is to be human. To feel you is to be alive. To transcend you, priceless.
I release you. To live here with Freedom. For me and you.
So, we’re gonna trust people. And take risks, big ones. Huge ones.
We’re gonna believe in other people. We’re gonna create our dreams.
Cause, loneliness……Love fucking wins. And that, is something I can and will live for.
Let’s take on the world, together. You and me, and every other “alone” human. For together we are Power.
Thank you. For keeping me safe. You’ve done a fantastic job. Time to rest, rest, in the arms of Surrender.