I want to add photos into this blog post but between my new phone and the slow ass wifi here, I have no idea how! So, here goes this very raw and vulnerable post, without hiding behind photos.
Does anyone get it? Does anyone else relate to the experience of being overcome with Life tinglies?
I mean, if you’ve seen my Facebook photos, you know that I’m in a pretty beautiful spot, with amazing people.
Here’s the part I don’t quite know how to share.
Tonight, while driving back from our magical outing, I was hit like a ton of bricks.
What the fuck?! What an Honor. To be here, in all the ways I get to be present. To be living this life. The beauty, the breathtaking art we overlook every day. I see it. Finally. Fully.
I looked over at the people, my framily. They are Life, expressed. Love, expressed. Laughter is universal. I speak Italian, but not really, as I join in the laughter. My piecy Spanish causing jokes. I know I’m the joke, I don’t care.
I look around. My heart almost explodes at the deepening Gratitude I never knew was possible and am still blown away by.
There was a time, I had 2 friends, that called on my birthday. I used to cry myself to sleep because I felt devastatingly alone. It blows my mind that this was only a few years ago.
My eyes see my Life. My heart, observes.
I feel connected to the pulse. Of Life. Love. Beauty. I feel it boiling in me.
I wonder if anyone else feels this way. Have we all settled for mediocrity? Why is it OK to be OK? Why do we continue to close off our hearts to those we are most connected to, to anyone?
I wonder if relationships exist, where there is a deep Honoring of one another? I wonder if everyone gets bored and moves on… In some way or another. I ponder what that’s all about and whether other people wonder this too.
You know. I feel as though I’m always looking at life with questions such as this. Searching for the Love Army. The ones who also Honor, people, life.
I didn’t always, so I get how rare it can be. And I know it doesn’t make me righteous in any way, in fact more and more I’m humbled by life.
Does anyone get it?
Dear Life. Fucking Thank you. For everything. I am in awe of what’s possible, and honestly, trepedatious about whether or not it could get better than this……yet…..if I know anything at all…. It’s to have complete faith. To follow my inner calling no matter what. Thank you for the Honor of this life and the gift of this extraordinary community, worldwide.
Please. Tell me there are many more of us out there. Our hearts exploding with nothing but drop to your knees Gratitude.
For it all. Which could never be expressed in language.