Letting Go and Starting Over

buddha

The last few months has not just been one of great adventure for me, but also, of letting go.

June 1, I say good bye to my home, my marriage and much of my life as I have known it.

This blog has been a long time coming and I have to say, I am honored to write it the way I get to.

My marriage

Roy and I have been together for 10 years now. I have nothing negative to say about this man. He has been a devoted husband and father. He is so generous and always willing to make sacrifices to make MY life work, many know he has also dedicated his life to Ayden. Therefore, allowing me to fly off and be the contribution I have been to my community. If I have made a difference in your life, it is because of Roy.

Thank you Roy, you really have been my rock. We are so blessed to be at the spot we are now, knowing we love eachother, and knowing our next chapters await. Truly, many are not this blessed. You are an amazing man. Thank you for teaching me all that you did, for every water you brought me, for giving me directions when I am lost (even when I wake you up in a panic) and for every moment you did what it took to cover my absence (we all know parenting ain’t easy)……for everything. Thank you.

So, this marks the finale for us. We for sure go out with a bang. We’ve made it quite the ride! I know we will continue to.

I do have to add that amongst all of this, there is a part of me that is grieving how I thought and wished things would go. I guess we never imagine things going like this. I am allowing tears to flow and grief to be felt as I navigate through these new waters. Just because I can appear like the strong super human one most of the time, doesn’t exclude me from the grief of the ending of this chapter. I am grateful I can powerfully be with and manage these waters,

ship

June 1, I move out into my new condo……all by myself…..Thank you John and Bri. These amazing friends of mine have made all the difference in my life, they continue to. Their generosity moves me. They are the epitome of friendship.

For those who go, OMG what about Ayden?? Chill out! We are adults and love our son. That will all work out perfectly, he’ll now have two homes and Roy and I get necessary breaks!!

I am looking forward to my new place, the quiet time and the sacred space. All of it really. I have no idea what is to come but I do know I will be ready for it.

buddha2

The last few months really have brought my life a certain calm. Although I have never physically been busier, I am also experiencing my life very much like Art. There’s a peace amongst the storm, like I know I am living out my purpose. I wish I could language this experience for you all but it is nearly impossible. I can say that I am grateful for every moment that
I kept moving and learning. There were some extremely uncomfortable moments along the way, for sure, and I know there are many to come. The difference is, I finally know I can handle anything brought my way, like, anything. I can call a friend, cry my eyes out, jump for joy, hide, travel, LIVE. I finally feel as though I have access to anything I could possibly
need, not materialistically, although that’s close! I have been so blessed with a community that has my back. Really, I am bursting with gratitude.

I used to say that sometimes our lives go into cyclones, like the whole thing gets picked up and thrown around and where it lands…….hmmmmm?! That’s where I am. In the cyclone.They bring new energy and new adventures, new passion and purpose, new connection.

So, if you are on the outside looking in, aka, all of you. Thank you for reading these, for being in my life in whatever way you are. Thank you for who you are in the world. I wish you peace in the eye of your storm.

I would like to add a note, in case this is you reading this, to Roy’s family and friends……I Love you guys. Please know that the relationship we have built is unbroken. It just looks different!

Let’s see what’s to come!!!!

I wrote this blog this morning and the pieces of the day led me to the Vancouver General Hospital to visit my beautiful cousin Rebecca. What a blessing this girl is. I got to visit with her and see my uncle for the first time in 21 years. You never know where life will take you. Just one day can shift everything. No matter where you are at right now, keep in mind that change is inevitable and it can all shift in an instant. Enjoy your precious moments and go with the flow…..

life

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