Four years ago, I would have told you I would never meet my father. I would have never allowed him to see my son. My anger and resentment consumed me, and had for 20+ years.
Many of you know, I did the Landmark Forum 3 years ago, during which, I called my father and forgave him. What I now realize is that I forgave him for myself, and didn’t truly forgive him.
It wasn’t until I looked into his eyes and saw him burst into tears after waiting 21 years to see his child that I really understood the pain and anger that was deeply rooted in his heart. He had gone most of his life without setting eyes on his own children. The only two children he ever had, and his only grandchild.
Over the week in Texas, I began to understand what family really looks like. Not at all what I expected. It wasn’t roses, it wasn’t perfect……they didn’t treat anyone too gently.
What I have come to understand after my week in Texas, is what love looks like. What love making a stand for love looks like. My family is full of people who stand up on their beliefs, strongly and passionately, and I see this is truly where I came from.
So how was my week in Texas? Well, it was challenging. It was also more full of love then my life has been in a very long time. I spoke with my father about things he probably has not spoken about in years. I gave him freedom and forgiveness. I gave them to myself. I have also come to see that family is truly all that matters.
In the end, it does not matter what we have created out in the world if we come home to emptiness.
The shift for me? I have been looking outside in the world to make the difference I’m committed to making. Seeing that the difference begins in my own home is not just a “DUH” moment but also very much an eye-opening and awakening experience. My father told me a story, an analogy actually, about what he now believes love and relationship is. It went like this “When you love someone, you are the outfielder in a strawberry patch, and you will run to catch the ball without realizing your own legs are all scratched up”. In this moment, I saw that what so many people, my family and myself included, are missing, is that kind of love.
For those of you who follow my life, you know that my relationship has been an area in which I complain and flip flop. Therefore, I have come home with renewed vigor for the work I do in the world and to my home-front. My family first and foremost over myself in body, mind, and spirit.
I am committed to a breakthrough in my finances and a breakthrough in my health, all being byproducts of the breakthrough in my home!
Einstein said it best, “We cannot use the same thinking that got us into the problem to solve the problem”. I realize that this applies to me too!!! 😉 I am taking action and using my amazing community to reach out for support where my “thinking” isn’t working! Let’s see what this creates!
Watch for more content to come as I dig deep to share with you all who are listening!!! Once again I thank you for being here, I thank you for your participation in my life. Please know that my number one intention in my own life is that people see that Love, Community and Connection really are possible. You being here makes that possible.
Thank you. Namaste.